INEXPENSIVE FIRST DATES!!!!!

The first date is to "Get to know your partner"
It DOES NOT have to be an expensive form
of entertainment.
First Dates can include a beach picnic with a blanket,
good wine, fruit and homemade or deli sandwiches.
You can enjoy the fresh air, swim, play volleyball,
frisby and talk. Listening to each other is very
important. Find out each others hobbies, goals
and interests.
Kite flying, Bicycle riding in the local park or
just a nature walk with a pet (if you share
the love of pets) and a meal at a favourite
fast food restaurant is also appropriate.
Sporting events, Local museums and
Art gallerys are also good relaxing areas
to get to know your date.

There will be times when money is tighter
and these times can also be enjoyable
without spending a great deal of money.
After you have known your date for a little
while and feel more comfortable together
you may invite them to eat at your place,
or even for a movie night. You can take
turns picking the movies and making
the popcorn together.

Double dating can be fun too, but make
sure you have common interests first.
Couples should learn to interact with
other couples during the dating
process.

Touching Poems

Touching poetry I found on the web
http://www.best-love-poems.com/

Loved And Lost
By Mark Spencer
‘Tis true, love is a fickle thing.
It comes and goes upon the wing.
It soars to heights beyond the stars,
Then leaves thy soul with empty scars.
But if it’s truly in thy heart,
It shall remain, it can’t depart.
Better to pay the lonely cost,
Than be the one who loved and lost.
***************************************
Just When I Needed You Most
By The DevilHimSelf
You packed in the morning I
stared out the window and I
struggled for something to say
you left in the rain without closing the door
and I didn't stand in your way

now I miss you more then I
missed u before and now
well I found comfort god knows
cause you left me
just when I needed you most
you just left me
just when I needed the most

now most every morning
I stare out the window and I
think about where u might be
I've written u letters that I like to send
if u would just send one to me

cause I need u more then I
needed you before and now
well I found comfort god knows
cause you left me
just when I needed you most
yes you left me
just when I needed you most

ABUSE IS NOT LOVE!!!

What Is Abuse?

Abuse often refers to physical or mental harm:
Healthy relationships involve respect, trust, and consideration for the other person. A person who loves you should never want to see you in pain. Slapping, hitting, and kicking are forms of physical abuse that can occur in both romances and friendships
Excessive jealousy or trying to control different aspects of your life, such as how you dress, who you hang out with, and what you say is not the actions of a caring partner. Mental abuse unlike physical abuse is hidden. Emotional abuse, like teasing, bullying, humiliating, Threats, intimidation, put-downs, and betrayal are all harmful forms of mental abuse that can really hurt and leave emotional damage. Coercing or threatening to harm you or themselves if you leave the relationship is signs you are being abused. Unwanted sexual advances that make you uncomfortable and Phrases like "If you loved me, you would . . . " are warnings of possible abuse. This is emotional blackmail. If it doesn't feel right, it isn't.
Signs That a Friend Is Being Abused:

Here are some signs of abuse to look for in a friend:

Unexplained bruises, broken bones, sprains, or marks, Excessive guilt or shame for no apparent reason, Secrecy or withdrawal from friends and family, Avoidance of school or social events with excuses that don't seem to make any sense. An abused friend may be afraid to tell people because they will be told to end the relationship. People who are abused often feel like it's their fault - that they "asked for it" or that they don't deserve any better. ABUSE IS NEVER DESERVED. It takes a lot of courage to admit that you have been abused; let your friend know that he or she has your full support.

How You Can Help Yourself?

If you are in an Abusive situation get help. First, make sure you're in a safe place. If the person has physically attacked you, don't wait to get medical attention or call the police. Assault is illegal, and so is rape even if done by someone you are dating. Avoid the tendency to isolate yourself from your friends and family. You might feel like you have nowhere to turn, or you might be embarrassed about what's been going on, but this is the time when you need support most.

Where to Get Help?

Don't forget about those in your neighborhood who will be willing and able to help: religious leaders, school nurses, teachers, school counselors, doctors, and other health professionals are all sources of support and information.

VIOLENCE AGAINST MEN

Violence against men is hidden. It is a a crime
that society seem to ignore or pretend does not exist.
I am against violence in any form and am adding a
link with good reading material on this subject:

www.oregoncounseling.org/Handouts/DomesticViolenceMen.htm
I hope this information is of some help to someone.

IT'S A WOMAN RIGHT TO SAY NO

Being a woman can be the best and the worse thing that can happen to you. Although society has changed many old fashion beliefs have not. I remember as a young girl being told by my mother

The way a girl conducts herself is how she is judged.

and

It is easier for a girl to say NO than it is for a man.

I have realized that the second is one of the stupidest rules ever. Try telling that to an agressive man who feels it is his right to overpower you and take advantage. Oops but that was not written in the rules of old, so it is not a fact. Women libbers have released us from many unpleasant situations but not from the judgement of our peers. We have been allowed voting rights, to pay bills, to own property, to take off our bras, and to make decisions as to fashion, education and jobs, yet we still do not have total rights to our bodies. It is 2005 and women are still fighting men for the right to live as humans. A womens morality in this day and age should not affect the ability to say NO and for it to be accepted regardless of her companian's judgement of her. We should never hear yes she asked for it because of her lax morals or her error of judgement. Remember it was a companion that first started that lax moral behavior. Women stand up and speak for one of your own. We need to stand together to be heard.

ALCOHOL, TEENS AND YOUNG ADULTS

Alcohol abuse and alcohol dependence now affect teens and young adults between the ages of 12 and 20, even though drinking under the age of 21 is illegal.
According to research by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, adolescents who begin drinking before age 15 are four times more likely to develop alcohol dependence than those who begin drinking at age 21
It was stated Alcohol-related violence has risen among persons under age 21.
Over three million teenagers are estimated to be out-and-out alcoholics. Many more have a serious drinking problem that they cannot manage on their own. The 3 leading causes of death for 15- to 24-year-olds are said to be automobile crashes, homicides and suicides.
Drinking, Researchers suggests may be an expression of adolescent turmoil that includes other problem behaviors linked to unconventionality, impulsiveness, and sensation seeking.
Drinkers may have problems attaining the goals typical of the transition from adolescence to young adulthood (e.g., marriage, educational attainment, employment, and financial independence).
Dependence on alcohol and other drugs has also been associated with several psychiatric problems, such as: Depression, Anxiety, Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) and Antisocial personality disorder.
Proof that anxiety and depression or suicidal behavior is consequences of alcohol abuse is not known fully. Yet Alcohol use, Researchers have suggested are correlated to the above causes.

Parents' drinking habits and favorable attitudes about drinking have been proven to be positively associated with adolescents' initiating and continuing drinking. Children who have a closer relationship with their parents and were warned about alcohol were less likely to start drinking. Lack of parent’s support, monitoring and communication, Harsh, inconsistent discipline and hostility or rejection toward children have been related to frequency of drinking, heavy drinking, and drunkenness among adolescents.
The most common and effective way for an individual to combat his or her addictive behaviors is through a Self Health Group with advice and support from a Health Care Professional. Treatment should also involve family members because family history may play a role in the origins of the problem and successful treatment cannot take place in isolation.

Info obtain from - Joseph A. Califano, Jr., Chairman and President, The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University

GAY DATING RULES

I had a hard time finding something appropriate to post in response to the above topic. I am realistic that our society has changed and to hide a set of people because they do not follow what we believe, is wrong. Our eyes need to be open and Gays need to be even more careful than others in who they chose as companions. We see a vast amount of missing people daily. Bodies found desecrated and others never found. Straight or Gay, We are all targets of the rapes and killings that are happening today. Rule 6's bracketed comment I would remove if I could but it is not my post.
PLEASE FIND THE LINK BELOW:
http://www.mindspring.com/~siamese/dating/rules.htm

KEEP SAFE

DATE RAPE HAPPENS!

Here is a link to a controversal subject these days
http://survive.org.uk/date-rape.html

DATING TIPS FOR TEENAGES

Here are a Few Good Teenage Dating Tips..
FINDING OTHER TEENAGERS:
Teenagers are everywhere. You meet them at school functions, Parties, Gyms, Group gatherings and even in church groups. The internet is one place I would most likely suggest you avoid.
BE SAFE:
When you are making initial contact with someone new that you haven't met before, do it in a public place. Giving out personal information, such as your phone number, or where you live is a risk. Use common sense to judge the right time when you feel the time is right. If you feel pressured or unsure MOVE ON Quickly.
KNOW YOURSELF:
Knowing who you are and what interests you, should be discovered first. How can you know who you are looking for if you do not know yourself. List the things that make people like about you, in a positive sense. Then date the type of person that shares your goals and dreams. Dating a person who is into outdoors sports while you enjoy quiet times would defeat the purpose of a sharing relationship. Dating can be a tough process.
LEARN FROM OTHERS:
Be attentive to other successful dating relationships with people you respect. Figure out what works for them and see what you can adopt for yourself. Be honest with yourself and know what will make you happy. Are you looking for a friend? Or a longer term commitment? At the same time, be flexible. The teen dating world is unpredictable, but that can be part of the fun. Enjoy what comes your way but remember YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR EACH DAY. Be true to yourself.
COMMUNICATION:
Communication is the name of the game here. Visual, verbal, and subtle communication is what it takes. Be consistent and honest with the other person. Ask questions and be a good listener. Use all types of communication: the phone, a written note, an email - whatever comes to mind. All of this will show your interest in the other person.
DON’T GO IT ALONE:
Get your friends and family involved; let them know what you are up to. Always plan your dates in advance and remember to leave a brief note when leaving the house. When you were left with a sitter your parent left a place or number for contact. Its all about respect and trust. A more informed parent will feel more at ease
FOLLOW YOUR HEART BUT USE COMMON SENSE:
When you are dating, listen to your mind, but follow your heart. Keep in tune with what your intuition is telling you about the other person. Is it love at first sight? Stranger things have happened. Dating isn't rocket science. We all have common sense, so use it.
TAKE YOUR TIME:
Successful dating takes time. Most people who date want something to happen immediately, but we have all found out that doesn't happen. There is no way of forcing someone to be with you forever so be careful of what decisions you make along the way. Many teenagers face pregnancies to hold a loved one. Quess what? It does not work. Ask the millions of single mothers out there.
LEAVE WHEN YOU NEED TO:
Don't settle for something that isn't right for you. You deserve better than that. Breaking up is never fun, but we all know that we recover. And if you aren't the one initiating the breakup, remember that this is part of the experience as well. Rejection is tough, but keep in mind of what might be next - it could be even better. And you might end up with a really good set of new friends in the process.
HAVE FUN:
The most important thing to remember is to have fun! Searching for the right person can be a fantastic experience, filled with anxiety and emotion and even drama. But if you approach it with a positive attitude and think of the hunt as being as much fun as the catch, you will have a better time. Make it easy for yourself by setting your mind to the fact that this is something fun.If you have other teenage dating tips, we always want to know. Send us your best dating tips.

DISCUSSION POST 1

A. Are you searching, hoping to get married again?
B. Are you very strongly opposed to the idea of ever getting married again?
C. If you are a man, do you feel that all single women are trying to marry? If you are a woman, do you feel that all men want is to get you in bed?
D. Do you find that you seem to attract mostly losers?

Well do you? DISCUSSIONS WELCOME

PITFALLS IN THE PATH OF LOVE

Dating today does not lead only to rosy gardens and white picket fences. Dangers lurk along the way and we need to be mindfull of these dangers.

HIV, STDs ,Date Rapes, Online Stalkers, and the usual getting dumped and used.

Chemistry is one of the things that blind us, Physical Attraction is a great thing but when its the only thing keeping a relationship going we have major problems.

Remember also when dating no one wants to know about your insecurities, deadend jobs and failed relationships. Each new date should reflect something New and Positive about you. Dating and finding the Right one can be frustrating and but if you are negative you will scare off prospective suiters. WebMDHealth has a post on Dating Dangers I found interesting:

Dating Dangers: Love's a Minefield

Dating advice from the experts about how to find Mr. or Ms. Right.

Danger: Is It Date Rape?
Here's the really serious stuff -- a woman is vulnerable to rape in her own home, or even if she voluntarily goes to someone else's home. Even if she consents to some activity, that does not imply consent for all sexual activity. When a woman says, "No" or "Stop" that means STOP. Even if alcohol or drugs are involved, even if she doesn't put up a fight -- even if she's a former girlfriend -- it's rape if she says, "No."
You can't be too careful; date-rape drugs such as GHB, Rohypnol, or Ketamine can render a victim unconscious and with limited memory. Using these drugs is a federal crime that carries a possible 20-year sentence.
A few rules:
Don't accept open drinks, whether they're alcoholic or not, from someone you don't trust.
At parties, accept only drinks that come in closed containers. Never leave your drink unattended or turn your back on your table.
Do not drink from punch bowls, pitchers, or tubs.
Another idea: Carry a Drink Safe date rape drug test" package of drink testing strips or coasters in you

THE NEW DATING GAME

The Rules of Dating has changed and now greater reponsibility lies on both parties. Gone are the days when men were responsible for seeing you safely home and women conducted themselves in a set manner.
The world has evolved and changes have been made. We all need to refresh our Dating Skills and I though a Blog on this may help.
The greatest change is that Dates no longer comprise of the Basis Man and Women types. Society has changed and we have to adjust to the changes and be more aware of what goes on around us.