ABUSE IS NOT LOVE!!!

What Is Abuse?

Abuse often refers to physical or mental harm:
Healthy relationships involve respect, trust, and consideration for the other person. A person who loves you should never want to see you in pain. Slapping, hitting, and kicking are forms of physical abuse that can occur in both romances and friendships
Excessive jealousy or trying to control different aspects of your life, such as how you dress, who you hang out with, and what you say is not the actions of a caring partner. Mental abuse unlike physical abuse is hidden. Emotional abuse, like teasing, bullying, humiliating, Threats, intimidation, put-downs, and betrayal are all harmful forms of mental abuse that can really hurt and leave emotional damage. Coercing or threatening to harm you or themselves if you leave the relationship is signs you are being abused. Unwanted sexual advances that make you uncomfortable and Phrases like "If you loved me, you would . . . " are warnings of possible abuse. This is emotional blackmail. If it doesn't feel right, it isn't.
Signs That a Friend Is Being Abused:

Here are some signs of abuse to look for in a friend:

Unexplained bruises, broken bones, sprains, or marks, Excessive guilt or shame for no apparent reason, Secrecy or withdrawal from friends and family, Avoidance of school or social events with excuses that don't seem to make any sense. An abused friend may be afraid to tell people because they will be told to end the relationship. People who are abused often feel like it's their fault - that they "asked for it" or that they don't deserve any better. ABUSE IS NEVER DESERVED. It takes a lot of courage to admit that you have been abused; let your friend know that he or she has your full support.

How You Can Help Yourself?

If you are in an Abusive situation get help. First, make sure you're in a safe place. If the person has physically attacked you, don't wait to get medical attention or call the police. Assault is illegal, and so is rape even if done by someone you are dating. Avoid the tendency to isolate yourself from your friends and family. You might feel like you have nowhere to turn, or you might be embarrassed about what's been going on, but this is the time when you need support most.

Where to Get Help?

Don't forget about those in your neighborhood who will be willing and able to help: religious leaders, school nurses, teachers, school counselors, doctors, and other health professionals are all sources of support and information.