JAMAICAN HUMOUR

For those of you dating a Jamaican Man
heres a little humour.
the 11 rules :

How To Love Your Jamaican Man
1. Never ask where yu man has been,
where him coming from or where him
going Don't always feel him going to another
woman. If yu treated him right he will soon
come back. If him don't come back, well
you have to work pon dat!
2. Always make sure de food deh pon de table
when him come thru de door. Member,
"regular fried dumpling keeps your man
a humping".
3. Don't forget the "Irish Moss" and "Guinness".
A nuff ah dem like pork, but just don't call it pork
... yu mad! Call it a fancy foreign name like ham
or franks! Ah it dem mother did grow dem up pon.
4. Never get upset if he accidentally sleeps with
yuh friend, sister, or even mother. That only
means he is a good man, dem would have never
slept with him if him was worthless! Is dem
fault fi a pressure him!
5. Never tell yuh man seh yu pregnant -
well, not til yuh hide him passport!
6. Never ask how many baby mother yuh
man have. Dis may lead to embarrassment
because him may have lost count.
7. If him grab yuh up! Tell him that's not how
to show love, some think that is the way
but don't call de police. It don't mek no sense,
because you always end up bailing him out of jail.
8. Tropicana, Never tell yuh man is not your
real hair! Dem love long hair gal. Keep telling him
dat you're half-Chinese or yu have Indjun
in yuh family.(* *)
9. Don't listen to your girlfriends advice,
especially if dem don't have no man. How can
someone with no man tell you how to keep one.
Dem always telling you that 'him controlling yu'.
She just want someone to keep her company
because she have no man. Some of dem even
have funny intentions.
10. Never ask to drive your man's car, or give
him directions, or tell him to ask for directions
when he is lost. Him soon find him way!
Grin and bear it.
11. Never ask for your man's home number
and address ... some ladies get this strange idea
after seeing their man fe three years and having
several children for him that this somehow
entitles dem to dis privileged information.
Be realistic! The relationship is still in its early
stages. However, your man might feel generous
and offer up his cell phone or pager digits.
Be grateful!!!