LOVE Of KIDS

Here is a bit of Humour for your
enjoyment

1. NUDITY
I was driving with my three young
children one warm summer evening
when a woman in the convertible
ahead of us stood up and waved.
She was stark naked! As I was
reeling from the shock, I heard my
5-year-old shout from the back seat,
"Mum! That lady isn't wearing a
seat belt!"
2. HONESTY
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming
out of the bathroom to tell me he'd
dropped his toothbrush in the toilet.
So I fished it out and threw it in the
garbage. Zachary stood there
thinking for a moment, then ran to
my bathroom and came out with
my toothbrush. He held it up and
said with a charming little smile,
"We better throw this one
out too then,cause it fell in the toilet
a few days ago."
3. OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a
first-grader handed his teacher a note
from his mother. The note read,
"The opinions expressed by this
child is not necessarily those of his
parents."
4. KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the
ketchup out of the jar. During her
struggle the phone rang so she
asked her 4-year-old daughter to
answer the phone. "It's the minister,
Mummy," the child said. Then she
added, "Mummy can't come to the
phone to talk to you right now.
She's hitting the bottle."
5. MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and
found himself in the women's locker
room. When he was spotted, the
room burst into shrieks, with ladies
grabbing towels and running for
cover. The little boy watched in
amazement and then asked,
"What's the matter, haven't you ever
seen a little boy before?"
6. POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism
report at an elementary school,
I was interrupted by a little girl about
6 years old. Looking up and down
at my uniform, she asked, "Are
you a cop?" "Yes," I answered
and continued writing the report.
"My mother said if I ever needed
help Ishould ask the police.
Is that right?" "Yes, that's right,"
I told her."Well, then," she said
as she extended her foot toward
me, "would you please tie my shoe?"
7. POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked
my police van in front of the station.
As I gathered my equipment, my K-9
partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw
a little boy staring in at me "Is that a
dog you got back there?" he asked.
"It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy
looked at me and then towards the
back of the van. Finally he said,
"What'd he do?"
8. ELDERLY
While working for an organization that
delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins,
I used to take my 4-year-old daughter
on my afternoon rounds. She was
unfailingly intrigued by the various
appliances of oldage, particularly
the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.
One day I foundher staring at a pair
of false teeth soaking in a glass.
As I braced myself for the inevitable
barrage of questions, she merely
turned and whispered,
"The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
9. DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents
dress for a party. When she saw her
dad donning his tuxedo, she warned,
"Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."
"And why not, darling?" "You know
that it always gives you a headache
the next morning."
10. DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk
in front of his church, our minister
heard the intoning of a prayer that
nearly made his collar wilt.
Apparently, his 5-year-old son and
his playmates had found a dead robin.
Feeling that proper burial should be
performed, they had secured a small
box and cotton batting, then dug a
hole and made ready for the disposal
of the deceased. The minister's son
was chosen to say the appropriate
prayers and with sonorous dignity
intoned his version of what he thought
his father always said:
"Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto
the Sonnn, and into the hole he gooooes."
11. SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week
of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she
said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't
write and they won't let me talk!"
12. BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible.
He was fascinated as he fingered
through the old pages. Suddenly,
something fell out of the Bible. He
picked up the object and looked at it.
What he saw was an old leaf that had
been pressed in between the pages
"Mama, look what Ifound," the boy
called out. "What have you got there,
dear?" With astonishment in the young
boy's voice, he answered, "I think I
just found Adam's underwear