26 September 2005
PUT HIM IN THE DOGHOUSE
BRING YOUR MAN TO HEEL AND HE'LL BE
STRAINING AT THE LEASH TO PLEASE YOU
By Victoria Kennedy
TRAINING a man to do what you want can feel like
an impossible task, but it's really very simple
- treat him like your dog.
Clare Staples, 36, was once engaged to hypnotist
Paul McKenna and is friends with renowned
Lotharios Simon Cowell and Robbie Williams.
And she's combined her experience of them with
tactics she picked up from training her Great Dane
Mr Big and advice from close girlfriends, including
Sex And The City creator Candace Bushnell,
to write her book Everything I Know About Men
I Learnt From My Dog.
"I noticed that men and dogs have the same urges
and natural instincts," she says.
"But when I compare men to dogs it's not meant in
a negative way. They're my two favourite creatures
on this planet and I hope to always have one, if not
both, in my life."
Here she gives her top tips on how to have him
eating out of your hand.
How to get your man to...
1 BE MORE ROMANTIC:
"Rather than nagging him and telling him to be more
romantic, use the praise and reward approach.
Whenever he does something romantic for you say:
'That's so nice of you to do that'. Be genuine, not
patronising. And then reward him, like you do with
your dog. If you give your man a treat - like encourage
him to go to the football with his friends - then he'll
subconsciously remember to do something nice again."
2 GET ON WITH YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS:
"When I want Mr Big to do something he doesn't like,
such as have a bath, I'll use something to distract him
like offer him cheese, which he loves. The same
applies to men. Most of them don't like spending time
with the in-laws or your friends, but you can distract
him so he doesn't think too much about it.
For example, if you have your parents around for dinner,
cook your man's favourite meal, so he'll be friendly
because he's happy.
Alternatively, distract him with ideas of how you will
spend the following day, so if he loves fishing tell him
you'll go fishing with him and bring sandwiches."
3 REMAIN FAITHFUL:
"When I first got Mr Big and took him for walks, I'd
call for him to come back but he'd never come.
One day I got so angry I just turned my back and
started walking home without him. Mr Big immediately
came running after me. Men are the same.
The moment they sense you're slightly out of reach
they want you more and you become more valuable
to them. Make sure you make your own plans outside
of your relationship. Instead of sitting at home
waiting for him to get back, turn the tables and let
him wait at home for you occasionally. Then he'll be
so busy wondering where you are he won't want
to cheat."
4 BE A GREAT LOVER:
"Obviously this isn't an experience I've had with
my dog! But the concept of making sure your dog
feels rewarded when he does something good
applies to men. If your partner does something
special for you in the bedroom, encourage it. Tell
him 'that was so amazing'. Men like doing
something they know they will get praise for.
Do something nice so he knows when he does
something good for you, he will get something
back."
5 HELP WITH THE KIDS MORE:
"Men like playing games, just as dogs do. You
need to construct a way for your man to interact
with the kids, while still having fun. It's important to
balance the chores of being a dad with all the fun
stuff. Men are big kids at the end of the day. If you
want children, make sure you are with the right
man. If he says he doesn't want children, don't
just put it at the back of your mind and think he'll
change his mind, because he probably won't."
6 BE WELL-GROOMED:
"Don't date a slob. A man who takes pride in his
appearance most likely has high self worth.
In my experience, if a man looks a a mess, then
he probably is a mess. Dogs are very vain and
like you to keep them well-groomed. And this
applies to men in some ways. I always take my
partner shopping - I find it's great to encourage
him when he looks good."
7 BE OBEDIENT:
"Just as dogs have to follow rules, make sure
your partner follows your relationship rules.
Things like making sure he will call when he says
he will and treating you with respect. Teach him
what you require and don't reward him until he
has learned these rules. That said though,
I think too many women try to force their men to
be too obedient and turn them into lap dogs.
You start off by being attracted to this great stag
and then you try to turn him into My Little Pony.
I think it's best when men are strong and
independent - but still respectful."
8 BE HOUSETRAINED:
"Men, like dogs, are task orientated. But the
important thing is to praise him, without being
patronising. If he brings the dishes over then
say 'thank you' and encourage him. But it needs to
be balanced. Men also like to be taken care of.
Cook for him once a week and buy his favourite
snacks. Give him a treat when he's done
something good so he knows."
Everything I Know About Men I Learnt From My
Dog (£9.99) is available from all good bookstores
and www.amazon. co.uk
link:
http://www.mirror.co.uk/sexandhealth/sexandrelationships/tmobjectid=16174818&method=full&siteid=94762&headline=put-him-
in-the-doghouse-name_page.html
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