ON DATE RAPE!

AVOIDING DATE RAPE!
Q: When it comes to date rape, is the
solution to avoid certain places or
social events?
A: No, the solution is to avoid vulnerability.
The person who will attempt to molest or rape
a teenager needs an environment in which
that's possible. He needs to get her to a
place where nobody is nearby who will hear
her if she resists loudly or calls for help.
But he can also try to get her in a
frame of mind where she doesn't resist loudly
or call for help.
Dangerous men are only dangerous if they
can get you somewhere.
They are not dangerous on the dance floor,
in the restaurant, in the crowded mall.
That's where they may meet you, and it may
be where they seek to persuade you
--but that's not where they'd try to hurt you.
Since much of what I've said about the
nature of men is anything but PC
--as in politically correct--I'll borrow the
acronym from that tired phrase to
characterize the contexts in which
young women (and women in general)
can recognize their disadvantage:
PC will now stand for privacy and control.
If a man who intends sexual assault or
rape has privacy and control,
he can victimize someone.
If he does not have PC, he is not
dangerous, period.
Of course the mere presence of
privacy does not mean a man is sinister,
but it does mean a girl is vulnerable.
A girl must evaluate this private moment:
was it by circumstance or by design?
Cars, hotel rooms, apartments, houses,
closed businesses, wilderness areas,
the auditorium after hours, back corridors
at work, a remote parking area--all these
places can afford a predator privacy.
If a predator gets a target to cooperate,
he has a lot more flexibility when it
comes to privacy. This man can use a
room in the girl's home, even if family
members are somewhere in the house.
For him, privacy is also adequately
afforded by a room at work that people
don't frequent, even if the business is open.
A few empty seats in a theater can
offer enough concealment to sexually
abuse a teenager. Teenage girls who can be
easily persuaded are more likely to be
sexually assaulted than a teenage girl
who cannot be easily persuaded.
Signs of Danger
Q: But girls are often in private
environments with men.
How can a girl tell if a male she
knows is about to harm her?
A: Most often girls are in private situations
with men who have no sinister intent
whatsoever. The driving instructor who
takes your teenage daughter all over
town is granted some PC opportunities,
but if he is a good man, no problem.
Still, it's appropriate for a teenage
girl to recognize the P in PC if several turns
take them to some remote area.
Ideally, if this occurs, she'd be more
alert for the introduction of control.
Right when a man begins to introduce the
P or the C is the defining moment when
one can determine--virtually choose--
whether to be a target or a victim.
If the driving instructor's directions take
them out of populated areas, a girl can say:
"I'd be more comfortable staying in the
city," or "Please stay in familiar areas."
If the man had sinister intent, this girl has
just asserted in the clearest language
that she will not be easily persuaded, thus
his options for gaining control are limited
to force or fear, and that requirement will
exclude the overwhelming majority of
predators.
PRIVACY AND CONTROL!
Q: Is it easy to teach PC to a teenage
girl?
A: It is made far easier when the parent
and the teenager recognize that these
concepts are already imbedded
into the consciousness of human beings.
When a teenage girl is alarmed by
someone's behavior, she instantly and
automatically evaluates PC. She intuitively
weighs whether anyone might hear a call
for help or whether someone might
come along, and she measures what
degree of control the predator might have
over her. The key--the trick--is to
recognize PC before someone alarms her,
even in the absence of obvious sinister
intent on the man's part. The impala who
finds itself alone with the lion doesn't wait
to see how the carnivore will behave.
FEARING MEN!
Q: Does this mean a teenage girl
must be in a constant state of
alertness whenever she is in the
presence of men?
A: Absolutely not. This is about being
alone with a man in a situation in which
she is vulnerable. And then, a recognition
of PC might be no more than a passing
thought that opens the girl to her intuition
about this man. If she feels at ease with
her boss at the restaurant even though
there are no customers around, fine.
But being cognizant of PC means she'll
sooner recognize the slightest
inappropriate comment or unusual
behavior, like locking the front door
before closing time. Teenage girls can
memorize PC--Privacy and Control--
and when someone has these
advantages, be open to signals
of that person's intent.
That's all, not a fear of every man,
just an acceptance of reality.
DANGEROUS DRUGS!
Q: What do teenage girls have to
know about "date-rape" drugs?
A: Imagine a pill that is tasteless,
odorless, dissolves completely into
a drink, can incapacitate for hours
whomever ingests it, costs a couple
of dollars, and then erases the
person's memory. Aptly known as the
date-rape drug, Rohypnol has a slew
of street names: Roofies, R2, roofenol,
roche, la roche, roachies, and rib.
In a typical Rohypnol-rape case a young
woman accepts a drink and then feels
dizzy and disoriented. To all observers
she looks like she's drunk, but the person
who dropped a Rohypnol in her glass
knows better. Though he seems the nice
gentleman as he walks her outside,
he takes her somewhere to rape her.
Most victims have little or no memory
of what happened, but they later piece
together evidence that they've had sex
with someone.
An obvious way to improve what is
already epidemic in America
(worst in Florida and Texas) is for the
government to classify Rohypnol in the
same category as drugs with a high
potential for abuse, such as LSD and
heroin.
Hoffman-LaRoche, the manufacturer of
Rohypnol, resists reclassification and
notes in their defense that "Alcohol is
the number one date-rape drug in the
country." Okay, so Rohypnol is the
number two date-rape drug in the
country--but it is still aiding many
predators to victimize girls and women.
The main defense against Rohypnol-rape
is knowledge about the drug.
Then a young woman can be cautious
about accepting drinks and carefully watch
that nobody puts anything in her drink.
DON'T BE A TARGET!
Q: Why are teen girls such common
targets of male violence?
A: Teenage girls are the most victimized
segment of our population (and at the
same time, the least likely to
report a crime). In a survey of prison
inmates who had committed violence
against young people, three quarters of
the victims were girls. Why? For starters,
they offer less resistance and they pose
less risk than adult women. Next, teenage
girls are perceived as sexual objects,
prohibited perhaps, but sexual
nonetheless.
The issue is complicated by the fact that
teenage girls are themselves exploring
the dynamics of male attention and the
desire to be accepted by men.
This coincides with enhanced
vulnerability and exposure because
teenage girls are old enough to be out
of parental supervision, to take a first job,
have a first date, and experiment with
drugs and alcohol.
***A woman is raped every 2 minutes.
In 1996, 307,000 women were the
victims of rape, attempted rape, or
sexual assault.
Taken from an article. Link below:
http://www.familyeducation.com/article/0,1120,68-10181,00.html
"Talking About Date Rape" Kyanna Sutton